PREVIOUS PIECES PUBLISHED ON THERUMPUS.NET
A Person with Severe Social Anxiety Imagines What Will Happen If Seen Tripping on a Sidewalk
My Debilitating Anxiety Decodes My Unread Work Emails
People We Want to Be and People We Are
Top Vaginal Scents for the Holiday Season
Pitches for the Lifetime Movie Channel
Scenes from Realistic Rom-Coms
Looking for Best Friends, m4ww
That’s Absolutely Not What She Said
This NPR Pledge Drive Is Getting out of Hand
Thomas Hardy Isn’t Jane Austen; Get Over It
An Editors’ Slush-Pile Meeting at Backdoor Review
Literary Classics Summarized as Trashy Romance Novels
Defense Mechanisms (New Game Apps for Your Feelings)
Become a Woman Celebrated During Women’s History Month
Excerpt from Rodeo Girl’s Awesome Blog
The Best-Selling Story of All Time
W4M ISO Wealthy Patron of the Arts
Actual invented “Findings” from Harper’s Magazine
Taking the Tea Party to the Bedroom
An Evolution of Dear John Letters
What She Really Thinks About Sex
Damaris Dice: Stand-In Advice Columnist for Latina Magazine
Rules for Emailing Your Instructor
So You Think You Have Second-Hand Embarrassment Syndrome
Conference Speaker Would Like to Begin By Apologizing for A Few Things
Post-Apocalyptic American Girl Dolls
My Life as Performance Art: An Exhibition
Coming Out Letter, October 2007
Destroying Angels, a How-To Guide
The Emily Post Guide to Beheadings
In Retrospect, Dating That Speed Freak Wasn’t All That Bad, Comparatively
Finally! A Job that Requires My Skill Set
What Will You Do with an MFA in Poetry?
A Play About Post-Racial America in Five Acts
I’m Sorry I Didn’t Write a Comedy Piece